Alec Baldwin writes book on divorce and parental alienation

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48 Responses to Alec Baldwin writes book on divorce and parental alienation

  1. bill russell says:

    Florida divorce/Palm Beach County, Florida – My ex-wife alientated my daughter, who is now 18 years old, so much that she stopped coming on visitation when she turned 13 years old. My ex-wife’s family have given my ex-wife in excess of $2.7 million interest free and she has not claimed any of the money on her tax returns. She has given her attorneys nearly $1.8 million to keep me in Court. A Court appointed psychologist was appointed as a family therapist and diagnosed that the mother intentionally alientated the daughter, tried to alienate the son, but was unsuccessful with the son. My ex-wife spent nearly $100,000 and 10 months threatening the family therapist with a law suite or medical complaint for violating patient priviledge because she did not want the doctor’s report entered into the Court record. The ex-wife was successful with blocking the family therapist from testifying and getting his report into the Court record. However, my ex-wife was able to have one of the children’s therapist testify, who complained that I interferred with the process. I did not understand this therapist making these statements; however, I found out 6 months later that my ex-wife’s attorney’s represented the children’s therapist in her own divorce 5 years earlier. It has been horrible, I am broke, do not see my daughter, and continue to have enourmous Court bills while she goes and picks another $100,000 or $200,000 off of her father’s wealthy tree. In closing, I saw Mr. Baldwin’s interview with 60 minutes and Morley Safer (sp?) was quite judgemental of Mr. Baldwin. However, I am not judgemental of Mr. Baldwin because if you have had to deal with a very vindictive, alienating ex-wife, then you can understand what may drive someone to react like Alec reacted. The divorce system is horrible for father’s and even more horrible for father’s when the ex-wife has alot of money to fund attorneys, forensic accountants, psychologists, etc… I believe my story is a record story and I thought about somehow publishing the events. I believe there was fraud and conspiracy between the ex-wife’s attorneys and the psychologist. If you ever want to speak to me, my number is 954-275-4419. I am a father who’s rights did not matter, and was taken advantage of in Palm Beach County, Florida.

    • Jan says:

      I have just been through hell with the same Palm Beach County Courts, a negligent and worthless guardian ad litem and a court appointed psychologist who ended up admitting in court he was not comfortable doing psychological examinations. I would love to compare notes. Please reply.

    • NeverAgain says:

      I feel your pain. My wife initiated a divorce when my daughter was 14. Like you, her parents have a lot of money and gave her all she wanted to litigate me. I heard through the family grapevine they were trying to bankrupt me so my son would live with them… it didn’t work. Since that time we’ve been to court one time – I was in the hospital for 3 months recovering from surgery (I lost 9/10 of my intestinal tract) – no sooner did I come out of a 3-week coma and what the doctors thought was certain death, then I was served with papers indicating my ex was taking me to court to get custody of my son (he was 16 at the time and chose to live with me). I’ve barely seen my daughter in the last 2 years… but gradually things were getting better when they were at their best, my ex suggested to my daughter they relocate to her family home to live with her own parents – who wanted a nursemaid for their golden years. They of course promised my daughter the earth and moon to “go along” with the idea and even convinced her it was her idea to move in with her grandparents and get a fresh start. Of course I said, “No, I love you my daughter and will not agree to it.” Boom! Of course my ex knew the terms of the decree which said they could not relocate but proceeded anyway. My ex had my daughter write me a letter… an impersonal one-way form of communication… nice, real nice. Since this time my daughter has refused to see me, blames me for not allowing her to move hundreds of miles away from me. My ex, still does everything she can to instill hatred for me with my daughter and they both now blame me for everything that goes wrong in their lives. Parental Alienation Syndrome… it’s real, the courts facilitate it and take your money and then admonish men who get angry while they are being screwed by their ex wives and the family court system. The casualities are the children of course… fathers don’t matter, children’s best interest don’t matter, only paying attorneys, alimony and child support… it’s all about stealing fathers’ children and money. I’ve encouraged both my sons to never marry, or if they do, to do so without signing a state marriage license. Me, I’ll never get married again the financial and emotional costs the family law system exacts are too high.

  2. Lisa Schatz says:

    I would like to get in touch with alec baldwin to share my story for his book, I was a victim of parental alienation and was able to get through it an reclaim my relationship with my son after 10 years of dealing with abusive alienation. It can be done and I have a very important story to share with him.
    Lisa Schatz
    Atherton ,CO

    • Jan says:

      I would like to find out how to find that relationship again. Seems majority of alienated parents are fathers…I would be interested in e-mailing with you regarding the moms who end up alienated.

      • Kelly says:

        I too would like some pointers here.

        I have a narcissistic ex, who never deigned to marry me, because he and his family felt that they were of a higher caste than I. But that did not stop them from all that they have done.

        I also have an older daughter from a brief marriage when I was very young. This man supplied her with pot, alcohol and cigarettes for two years without my knowledge. When her behaviaor became out of control, I had her committed to a stat mental hospital. This crisis also cost me my teaching assistant scholarship which I had been working toward before I ever even met this man.

        It turns out he also sexually abused her. And that girl is now a woman, married with her own child. She showed up and testified for him on Friday, April 16. BOTH Of them committed perjury. His family has fueled her with money and trips to NY to visit my six-year-old child, who was snatched by him four months ago. And since this family is so wealthy, they have an attorney. I am just about destitute and have no attorney.

        I have a tape recording of this man verbally abusing all of us, my son and my little girl and me, when he once again went into one of his rages. I did not get a chance to play that tape in court.

        They had my son write a completely false affidavit about me, claiming, among other things, that only his father will see to it that his little sister is educated? WHAT??? Without me, my ex would not have his masters degree, my older daughter would not have her high school diploma, and my son would not be the stellar student that he is. And by the way, my son now attends a private prep school in NJ, that costs $45K per year. How is it that the woman who worked with him so much on his school work, and was the one who was here when his father walked out to go live with his exciting French lover in New York City last year, with ONE DAY’S NOTICE, can be so alienated from the boy she raised to be such a great student.

        How can he continue to “emotionally rape’ my older daughter? That one’s kind of easy: She has Stockholm Syndrome. She sexually abused by him and in her own words, emotionally raped by him. AFTER the court date on Friday, I found an email in which she showed me a letter she had written to him, telling him about all of this abuse, all the pot, all the booze, all the hatred he intentionally instilled in her for her own mother. She wrote that he emotionally raped her. Made our son lie to me in order to see her. My daughter went into so much detail, I cried all over again, contemplating how she has been so maltreated; and that she thinks all is greast right now, because his family has finally aknowledged her, after all her life, regarding her as threat. And it is still happening, as I write this. HIs family flew my older daughter to NY, to visit iwht my ex and my six-year-old. YEt I have not seen my six-year-old in four months. And before this? She had hardly ever been out of my care.

        He cost me everything. I could win this custody suit if I could just pay an attorney.

        I am absolutely shattered. My beautiful son, now shunning me and being pressured into lying about me, I’m sure, because he fears that “the family” will not pay his tuition if he dares to speak up for me. And yet, I have so much correspondence from my son, clearly indicating a very loving, supportive relationship.

        Help! My god, someone help me! I have foudn a very experienced attorney in NC who says she will take my case . . .but I must come up with the money to pay her.

        I can back up ALL OF WHAT I HAVE SAID if anyone is interested. I have so much documentation on this man and his abuse. I’ve even got the records of his assault conviction when he went off the deep end ten years ago. And still, that judge gave him temporary custody. I am outraged, shattered, grief stricken. The man who cost me my career, sexually abuesed my older daughter, abandoned the two children we had together has gotten away with this. He has threatened me for yeras, and now it has finally happened.

        If anyone is interested in seeing the documented proof I can show, please let me know. If anyone can tell me how to try to get my two older children to come to their senses, please let me know how. I am devastataed. They are harming my children every single day, and yet, these courts here are allowing it.

        The person who posted up there that the courts don’t care is right. They have become theatres, workshops where attorneys also participate in alienating children from their parents are paid big money . . . usign the public courthouses. It’s mind blowing.

        Please, someone help me. Please. The well being of at least two kids is on the line. I don’t know if my older daughter can ever recover, the abuse and manipulation being so deeply ingrained in her psyche. Yet that letter . . .nine pages long, of her telling him she knew what he had done . . . stolen her mother and emotionally raped her. Maybe there is hope?

        I don’t know.

        Please help, anyone, someone.

    • Yvonne says:

      Hi Liza,

      I am currently experiencing parental alienation from my son who I had an extremely close relationship with. I have not seen my son for 8 months now. My ex and his wife have convinced him to never speak to me or look at me when I see him in public (i.e. at school)

      It is impossible to deal with the continual pain and hurt from the human you gave birth to and who was once a part of your very body. Since he’s 13 no lawyer or court will do anything about it. They are now working on stealing my daughter. It is legalized kidnapping.

      It is helpful to find that there are other females/mothers who are experiencing this, not just fathers. I am dying to know, how do other mothers cope with this? How do you live every day, how do you go on, how do you deal with the injustice of someone stealing your child and flaunting it in your face regularly? How do you deal with lawyers, psychologists and the general public not believing you and thinking you “must have done something wrong that you’re not telling us about”. Its not logical, its unprovable and unless someone has gone through it, it is a phenomenon no one can understand.

      • Shari says:

        I dealt w/ two ex’s who did that to me. You are taking it all to personally for one. Children are smart and figure things out. It takes time. People are vendictive. It seems as about the time I moved on with my life and my ex’s saw they had no control over me anymore I did get what I wanted. Every case in different. The children do come around. Work, take some classes,stay around good people, no alcohol, and force yourself to keep busy. Take lots of pictures to show your children later. My mom also alienated me from my dad(To cover the lies she told people to look like the victim) Unfortunitely until it happened to me I never saw what my mom was doing. Knowing how things do work out made me prepare for when the kids did come around. I felt guilty at first. But you have to take care of yourself also. If the children never come around you have at least a new life. You have to be strong also. One day you will look back and think it wasn’t that bad after all and honestly if you have done all you can do there is nothing to feel guilty about.

      • Lora says:

        I am a mother of three…only one is still in the home. It has been 10 months since I last hugged my son who is now 16. While I was away on a vacation, the ex closed our bank accounts (taking the money I was to use on the vacation), cancelled my cell phone and filed for divorce. He told the court I abandoned him and my son in the middle of the night and ran off with my boyfriend and he didn’t know where I was. Within days, he was granted temporary emergency custody of our son and granted permission to live in our house until things were settled. I knew. I was left with no money, no job, no way to live if I could return. My friend let me stay with him while I looked for work. I have slowly regained myself while trying to fight 4 states away for my son…with no help from the legal system. I finally found an attorney who would take payments and was someone I could afford. Unfortunately, he isn’t aggressive. I was granted my divorce, maiden name restored, and joint custody with me paying child support back in mid-summer. They won’t do anything without a hearing and I can’t keep dropping everything and run over 4 states and miles away and hours of driving to attend a 2 hr court hearing that doesn’t produce any results. I haven’t a clue where to go from here. I still don’t have any visitation at this moment…all pending my son’s psych eval. I call twice a week with no results – either get an answering machine or a very nasty mouth on a son who used to be so loving. I consider the answering machine my friend these days because I can say all the things I want to my son – I love you and miss you…and it won’t say “FUxx you” and hang up on me. I know I was a good mother, patient and caring and did not abuse my children. Why can’t he remember that?

      • Chris says:

        Yvonne,
        I feel your pain, I am going through the same thing, I lost my daughter who is now 12. The pain is unbearable. This child who once loved me now only displays hate and rage. Visits have ceased because she refuses to come. I had terrible attorneys, and biased psych evaluator, my husband had a bad evaluation, yet the evaluator wrote in document he could be a role model. (He is an active alcoholic and probably a sociopath or has some disorder according to his evaluation.) This is how terrible the system is. I am now out of money so I can no longer fight for my child who is in an unhealthy enviroment and I have no ability to do anything about it. It is worse than death. People probably look at me and wonder why I don’t have my daughter, they must think I must be a terrible mother, but it was all because of my bad attorney and my ex’s father’s rights attorney who was ruthless. There was not one thing I did wrong in my case, yet my daughter is with her father. It is a very flawed justice system. I think of how many others like myself who are suffering the loss of a child, because of a vindictave ex spouse.My husband;s emotional and verbal abuse and alcoholism are the very reasons why I left so my children would not be subjected to this environment and now this is where my daughter lives. Her life will be ruined by this. Her adult relationships will suffer, I will never get to see my baby go on date, go to prom, shop together, the list goes on and on. I guess all we can do is pray and hope that our love will prevail someday and this lost child will return to us. Maybe until this time comes we can help others by telling our stories and if any of us ever has any success fighting parent alientaion.

  3. Im hoping Alec gets thisemail Im a victim of the same horrible crime instilled by the legal system which destroys children for 10 years I was in and out of the Suffolk County Court System with no Justice What they allow is a crime contempt of court ordered documentsfraud. and holding us in bounty not being able to pursue are cases to prove neglect breach of legal duty because we cant afford to pursue our cases due to the extrafigent legal fees 2ooo court transcripts they charge which in many cases is needed to appeal verdictsMy son is destroyed by these buracratic pigs who play God when all they are are devils in black robes. I would be vhappy and give all my energys to get involved with Mr. Baldwins causes Rosemary Karrer

  4. I just wanted to say that other people writing and reading comments should know that there are alot of targeted parents out there and a lot of information and support for them. You can start by going to my website and following the links to other sites. You are not alone and you don’t need a celebrity to get in touch with you in order to have access to support and information (although, of course, it would be nice if Alec could respond…)

    Best to all

    Amy J.L. Baker, Ph.D.
    http://www.amyjlbaker.com

    • Nancy Newman says:

      Help, Amy! I have come to find out about PAS in the last 8 months or so. I didn’t know what was the matter, Why was my son turned against me, and why did I feel the need to keep my daughter close for the last 9 yrs. since she was 2. We got divorced 4 yrs. ago after he called DYFS to initiate the divorce. His family who lives close enough to visit kids and buy lots of presents to keep them with him, were clearly behind it.

      My son was in his home every afternoon during the time that was my custody time and Icouldn’t get to him. Two years ago my ex, after 25 years together secured a permanent restraining order in a bogus trial that was a set up.

      This fall as she entered sixth grade and puberty, he turned his attention ao my daughter. It was like watching someone take my daughter and molest them. I was so creeped out, I didn’t even want the kids around. They attack me if I open my mouth. They run to Dad when ever I try to discipline them. In the last couple of months she has turned her frustration and anger on me. Now she’s in the girlfriend’s rented housse he moved into and installed the kids.

      • Kelly says:

        I have a twenty-seven-year-old daughter who was molested by my ex; he also supplied her pot, booze and cigarettes for about two years when she was in high school. And there was some sexual contact/abuse as well.

        That daughter testified against me in court, this past Friday at our temporary hearing. They both committed perjury..

        She helped my son, with whom I had had a wonderful relationship, write scathing, character assassination of an affidavit, loaded with lies.

        This is Stockholm Syndrome at work. And on Amy’s site I noticed that one person commented that the kids “choose” the abusive, alienating parent out of sense of survival. I KNOW that is what is going on. THe man’s family, who never cared one bit about my older daughter, is now supplying her and husband with money, flying her to New York, where she is tonight, right now, visiting my ex and my six-year-old daughter, whom I have not seen in four months. They have impeded my every attempt to see this child since he took her from me four months ago.

        My son wrote that affidavit becuase his fahter’s family is the one that pays the FORTY-THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS in tuition for the private prep school in NJ, where my son just started this past fall. Forget the fact that I am the one who has always worked with this boy, making him into the stellar student that he is. He is terrified his uncle won’t pay his tuition. So yes, the kid do this to protect themselves.

        And my daughter has Stockholm Syndrome. I have a nine-page letter that my daughter showed me in 2004; she wrote this letter to my ex, telling him that she had finally figured out what he had done to her: stolen her money. She goes into a lot of detail about the pot, the booze, the cigarettes, the lies, and the sexual maniuplation of her. She writes to him: “You emotionally raped me . . .you stole my mother from me.” And yet? She testified, lied and said that none of that ever happened. And tonight? She is with him. And she is with my six-year-daughter, whom he never had any use for before this. I’m utterly shocked and shattered. HOW can these people get away with this?

        His attorney also lied in court on Friday, telling the judge that CPS “placed” my children with the father’s family . . .while he was jet setting in South America with his exciting French lover, for whom he abandoned my two younger children.

        Please, if anyone can help me, please, do.

        How is it that my son attends a school that costs $43K per year, and I have not had health insurance in fifteen years? The man who has stolen my children, emotionally raped a child of mine who is not even his, poisoned the well with her, abandoned his children and is now having me evicted from apartment.

        It is so hard not to hate. I will NOT give up on my children. I absolutely will not give up. I cannot. Good must conquer evil. This tiem, I have got to have justice, after all these years abuse at the hands of this narcissist, I have got to prevail. These kids need me to.

        Help, anyone, please help.

    • Kell says:

      No, certainly you do not need to have a celebrity help you—just have plenty of money to pay someone lime you? Your post is nothing but spam, and really, spam of the lowest sort.

      I am also very tired of reading blogs and advertisements for attirney’s who claim that, gosh, are so sickened by cases theyvread about, oh, the emotional and physical abuse suffered by [mostly] women. The ones that get my ire up the most are thise written by former “therapists,” who have gone on to become attorneys. And how their collective hearts bleed! How they must have salivated, thinking of how much more money they could make, once they obtained that JD and started focusing their energies on what really matters to them: money. Not a single one will even “consult” with you without charging an exhorbitant fee. They are nothing but bottom feeders.

      I finally understand why attorneys are so despised. They are whores. My ex’s attirney has a whole blurb on his website about Parental Alienatiion and HE has been a big part of the alienation of my children. Seems like there ought to be a way to do something about this lower life form, but just try to get any bar association to do something about one of their own. That’s all a bar association is, anyway: a bunch of attirney’s. And since attirney’s don’t really want this stuff to come to an end (entirely too profitable) why woukd they “discipline” one of their own? Family law is a big ‘ ole cash cow, and that’s not going to change.

      And try to do something about a judge!! They’re just attorneys with big enough egos to have run for office. Think they care about you or your children? They don’t. How often does it happen that the party with the least amount if money to blow on an attirney “wins”? Why is that? Judges are attorneys, that’s why. They have their favorite players in these games, too.

      Do not be tricked into thinking the justice system cares. They don’t. They are there to make as much money as they can possibly squeeze out every case. It’s disgusting. Until we can get experts on law removed from the equation, this will never stop. Why is an attorney the person who makes the decisions about children and not a professional educated on the matter at heart: the real welfare of children? Think about it. An expert on LAW is making these decisions? Why? What qualifies them?

      I’d leave this country too if I could. Justice? You want justice? You will not get it unless you’ve got a lot of money to spend on one if these exploiters.

      God, I could vomit, thinking of the judges and attorneys I have encountered. May each and every one of them have their filthy karma come back to them.

  5. Ron says:

    As a man who has successfully completed 15 years through a bloody divorce, PAS was always been an issue. During my second marriage I’ve experienced more PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome) than in my previous first divorce. I’ve had the police called on me so many times; just to have nothing happen. It’s a form of terrorism. Whatever she wants she gets… because she can simply call the police and hope that they ‘catch me’ in something… but what if there is nothing to catch? As in my example? As in Baldwin’s example? We’re all human. But women are judged by a different standard. There IS such a thing as a scheming women. In my situation, 2 years have passed since the final papers and we are no closer to having a viable parenting plan in place. I get my son every other weekend.. no holidays, no summer, no Christmas, zip…. Am I a drug addict? A felon? Anything??? No to all of the above. I am someone who has been accused of the most egregious things you’ve ever heard… all lies. (Alec and I look at each other and say “Are you serious? I just want to see my kid!”) How can a man who pays child support (on time) and volunteers at the school be classified so easily? Me and my ex are still fighting too.. over how much time I can have with my son. It’s literally come down to 45 days a year. She doesn’t want me to have those extra 45 days; she’d rather characterize me negatively and watch the pawns beneath her move to her each and every false allegation. I’ve been accused of everything that Alec Baldwin has been accused of… (and more I’m sure) This includes Anger Management. My current girlfriend CANNOT believe the mess my son is in….. Neither can I.

    After having known me 15 months… My girlfriend has seen no abusive tendencies… (what a shocker). She would know as she literally survived real abuse in her youth.

    Like Alec, I agreed to do the Anger Management, not because I thought I needed it.. because I would do anything to be part of the SOLUTION to my sons life. My son has genuine issues and they get worse because of the parenting plan disagreements and the PAS. As a man I can teach him how to become a man. He needs me. And I him.

    I simply want more time with my son than what would be given me under the “basic plan.” I gave her full custody. I would never want to take my kids away from their mother… I would never do that…

    I want to say “Just make a F^%$*& decision for God’s sake?!” That’s all anyone can ask. 2 years later… we are no closer to seeing each other… by Christmas 2008 nothing will have changed… I’ll have gone 3 years with out him at Christmas… PAS is real.

    Finally, I want to express to you that there is no hope in fighting PAS unless your willing to do more. What more? Join the National Fatherhood Initiative, donate money, vote, volunteer, do anything… it is a desperate situation that people face… the legal system is broken and Alec Baldwin is right… how do we fix the legal system? I wish I knew. It takes all of me to get through each day. Each day takes me further away from my boy.

    Many say there are resources for PAS. If you like to read — “that’s wonderful!” But until main stream medical experts agree that PAS is actually something recognizable… Until the shrinks all agree that PAS exists… nothing will change. The majority of the legal system throw out language that suggests PAS. If you want to beat PAS you have to fight for your kids. Do the right thing. Say the right thing to them about your ex.. don’t play into it.. but hang on! Don’t give up… that’s exactly what they want. He/She wants you to give up.

    Sadly, many men do. How could anyone blame the men for the erosion of the American Family? Men have been systematically neutered. We have few real recognizable rights in child custody decisions. The Judges and the crooked attorneys keep it all going…

    Good luck.

    • dwayne says:

      Hey Ron. My experience through the family law courtroom is identical to yours. I’m one of 31 dads here in Seattle that have all found each other through our misery and are uniting to get real loud about how we have all been controlled and abused by our ex’s and the injustice system. This corrupt system is nothing but a money making industry that can only feed of conflict and our children’s agony. They are rewarded with huge incomes if they can educate the mothers on what to do, what to say, and how to act. Kids are ripped away and the crooks swoop in to “protect” them. The internet is exposing these crooks and the skeletons in their closets will soon tumble out.

  6. cindy says:

    Many of us were victims of parental alienation. In Irelands case she was lucky enough to have a “fighter” for a father. I’m sure Alecs’ anger got out of control on occassion, but a parent is entitled to be ENRAGED when they’ve lost contact with their child and want that relationship restored. SHAME, SHAME, SHAME, on you Kim. And as for that phone call, the most damaging abuse occured when the media kept playing it over and over.

  7. Dwight says:

    Recently I was involved in custody dispute that opened my eyes to serious flaws in our justice system. I find it hard to believe that a country so progressive in its thinking regarding the rights of prisoners, gays, and animals can be archaic when it comes to the rights of fathers. Fathers are routinely kept from their children by vindictive women abusing the system for their own personal gain. Fathers that fight to see their children are made to jump through more hoops than a dog in a three ring circus. Many take the path of least resistance, which is to see their children very little if at all. The courts have become backlogged with filings, orders, and petitions designed to steal fathers of time with their children.

    People need to know how restraining orders are being used as tools to limit a father’s time with his children. My ex was able to get a restraining by falsely accusing me of domestic violence. Then to make matters worse she violated her restraining order by contacting me after it was granted, yet the court chose to ignore this fact. My situation is even more troubling because my ex admitted in a court of law that she physically and emotionally abused her six year old nephew by tying his arms and legs to discipline him. The court recognized her actions as abuse but was more concerned with hearing fictitious accusations of domestic violence than dealing with a confirmed case of child abuse.

    I firmly believe that the decisions made in my custody trial violated my civil rights. The job of the court is to protect the rights of the people and that includes fathers. I have outlined the facts of my story in this letter.

    The Break Up

    My story begins when my ex-girlfriend moved out of my house after a disagreement. She became angry and told me that she was going to leave with our 2 month old daughter. My ex told me that she did not have to let me see her and if I wanted to see her again I would have to take her to court.

    The Trial

    I went from being able to come home to my newborn baby girl to preparing for a nasty custody trial that also involved mutual restraining orders. We both asked for sole legal and physical custody of our daughter. She filed a restraining order against me alleging domestic violence. I filed a restraining order against her because she entered my house, without my permission, after she moved out. I also reported this event to the police. From the time I petitioned the court to the time I was given visitations by the court was 65 days. At the time of custody trial my daughter was almost 5 months old. My ex claimed that I had let my daughter cry for hours without consoling her so the court said my visits had to be supervised. By the time of the custody trial I had 12 hours of visitation with my daughter. The facts of the case are as follows:

    • My ex had a confirmed case of child abuse against her. She tied her 6 year old nephew’s hands and feet to discipline him while he was in her care. At the time he was in foster care because his mother and father were serving time for abusing him and his siblings. His foster mom reported the incident to his social worker and my ex was not allowed contact with him or his siblings. My ex confirmed the facts of this event on the witness stand.
    • My ex filed a restraining order 12 days after she moved out. During these twelve days I visited with my daughter several times at her residence and mine with no incident. Her restraining order was not filed until after I reported her to the police for entering my home, without my permission, after she moved out and I made her return a vehicle she was using that was registered to me.
    • After my ex was granted a temporary restraining order until our court date she called me at work, left a message, and tried to meet me while she was in the area. My attorney filed a transcription of the voicemail with the court. Ironically during the trial she testified that she would be scared if she saw me on the street.
    • My ex accused me of physically abusing her on several occasions yet I have never had the police called on me for any reason.
    • My ex claimed to have had bumps, bruises, and cuts from the physical abuse but had no pictures or medical reports to support her story.
    • She accused me of being an alcoholic yet I have never been arrested for a DUI. I have never been arrested for any reason.
    • She claimed the tape recording of her voicemail, where she requested a meeting with me, had been tampered with and some of her message was missing. The judge made me call my voicemail to play the message. The recorded message was a word for word match of what my attorney transcribed for the court. When my attorney asked my ex what words were missing she had no explanation.
    • Even though I petitioned the court first to establish a parental relationship I was forced to pay for a paternity test because my ex and her attorney requested I take one. During the trial my ex said she wanted a paternity test done because I argued with her over the paternity of my daughter. I have never questioned paternity. My name is on the birth certificate and my daughter has my last name.
    • Three of her witnesses were here cousins, one I had never seen before. In my ex’s request for a restraining order she did not mentioned any of them as a witness to any of her alleged events. All of them filed separate statements later claiming to be witnesses to events where I physically abused her in their presence. Her attorney told the court they reminded her of these events, but there is no police report or proof besides their statements.

    The Results

    After going to court a total of five times both sides finally rested their case. When the judge read the decision I was shocked. The results were the following:

    • My ex was given sole legal and physical custody of our daughter.
    • I was given 10 hours a week to see my daughter.
    • First 30 days with supervision from ex’s family, (transitioning period).
    • My ex was granted a permanent restraining order for 2 years.
    • I was denied my request for my restraining order.
    • My ex was ordered to attend 10 anger management classes.
    • I was ordered to attend 30 anger management classes.
    • My ex was ordered to attend parenting classes
    • I was ordered to attend a parenting class.
    • I was required to pay $4500 of her legal fees.
    • I was ordered to pay child support.

    The Solution

    I do not believe in shinning the light on a problem without offering a solution. Some of the solutions are common sense that will take little effort to implement. Others will take more effort but would go a long way to insure everyone is treated fairly by the justice system. I expect justice to be blind but I do not expect it to be deaf and dumb also. Below I outlined some solutions that will help make sure everyone is treated fairly within our justice system.

    • If a person files for a restraining order and there is proof they have contacted the other party their request should automatically be denied. It makes no sense to grant a restraining order if they continue to contact the other party.
    • When the father is available a paternity test should be given at birth. Couples could choose not to review the results.
    • A person should have to prove claims of physical abuse by providing evidence. If you claim to have bruises you should have to provide evidence in the form of pictures or a medical report otherwise those claims should be dismissed by the court.
    • Restraining orders should not carry the weight they currently do when custody is involved. From my experience it is too easy to make false accusations against a person that would result in loss of time with their children. I could make a good argument that in many cases restraining orders only escalate a tense situation. I suggest either making restraining orders carry less weight in a custody cases or creating another type of court order where both parties were ordered by the court to stay away from each other for a period of time. This order would be very general, but if broken would result in a restraining order. Restraining orders should be reserved for cases where the police are involved so the situation is documented by a trained professional.
    • Domestic violence and child abuse should be judged as criminal assaults; as such a person accused of these crimes should have their right to due process protected.
    • If a father is on the birth certificate the courts should automatically respect his rights to custody and visitations, until proven otherwise.
    • If the mother questions paternity she should be responsible for proving her claims by paying for a paternity test. In my case this was used as a stall tactic to delay visitations with my daughter. When my daughter was born the nurse asked if I wanted a paternity test; my ex jokingly said I did not need one because she looked just like me, which was true so I declined the offer. During the trial she claimed she wanted a paternity test done because I had questioned the paternity of my daughter. This explanation makes no sense because I petitioned the court for custody and visitations first. If I had a questioned paternity I would have asked the court for a paternity test.
    • Parties should be made to mediate together even if there are allegations of domestic violence, the accusing party could request security be present. Under California law in cases where domestic violence is alleged the accusing party has the option to meet with a mediator separately. This loophole is an easy way out of negotiating directly with the other party.

    Throughout the trial my ex’s attorney described our situation as a “classic” case of domestic violence. The courts need to seriously review their role in society if what I described in this letter has become the classic case of domestic violence. I thought in this country there was a presumption of innocence until proven guilty. For a father seeking the time he deserves with his children that is not always the case.

    I had the privilege of serving of as a foreman on a jury trial where the accused was a convicted felon. He had been charged with additional crimes while in prison. The jury in that trial gave a convicted felon more respect than I was given by the court in my custody trial. We cannot be progressive in our thinking regarding human rights, gay rights, prisoner’s rights, animal rights, and all other types of rights but continue to treat fathers as second class citizens in our court rooms.

    I chose to write this so I can help other fathers going through the same ordeal. There are many more facts to my case that I would be happy to discuss with anyone wanting more information. I will continue to fight for the custody I know I deserve.

    • Private says:

      The mother of my child has me falsely arrested regularly. NYC is very crowded and judges have not time to listen.

      Women use the courts and claim violence and without hesitation I am arrested, paying lawyers with money I do not have, or settling for public attorneys who have full cases and do not want to meet or discuss the cases.

      I have a civil court restraining order from seeing my son, and i have criminal order restraining me from seeing my son.

      God Bless America let it burn I hate this country.

    • Kelly says:

      I had a couple of restraining orders on the father of my children, but I NEVER EVER kept them from him, ever.

      I knew it was right for the kids, and I cared enough about him to do it.

      And now he has stolen all three of my children from me. Even teh daughter whom he supplied with alcohol, pot and cigarettes, the same one who says he sexually abused her (I believe her). She testified for him in court on Friday and lied. They both committted perjury, and then they walked out looking like two lovers.

      I am shattered.

      But I did have restraining orders. The man was violent with me. He came after me with a knife. But still, i NEVER kept him from his children.

      He has now kept me from my children for four months. FOUR months. And the youngest had never really been away from me.

      This, from the prominent family on Long Island, well known to many on the island and in the city . . . who claim to be SO MORALLY superior. And this brother of his, the one controlling the whole situation, ran for the House in the 04 election.

      Such liars and hypocrties. They are emotionally raping my older AGAIN, tonight, as we speak: she is there, visiting with him and with my six year old. I am shattered, but I am also determined.

      I need HELP!

  8. pleaseprotectkids says:

    Psychologist Ira Turkat thoroughly reviewed the science on parental alienation and concludes that there has yet to be the proper type of research programs to be undertaken which is why we don’t know from scientific evidence if this exists as a syndrome or not. So we can argue about it any way we want except for one simple fact. Some parents do things to alienate their children from the other parent. Men do it to women and women do it to men. Good parents don’t alienate someone they love against someone that child loves.

    • Kelly says:

      That is so true. BOTH sexes are capable of it. I think it probably is true that more mothers do it, but with me? This man has destroyed my life, my career, and now has finally made good on his years of threats to take my children from me.

      And he has the help of my older daughter, not his biological daughter. The young woman who wrote a nine page letter to him, telling him she had him figured out: YOU STOLE MY MOHTER FROM ME. And he abused her sexually. And supplied with her with pot, alcohol and cigarettes for two years before I found out .. .after I had to put her in a mental hospital when she kept runinng away and getting violent with me.

      Now? She helps him. She testified for him on Friday at our temporary hearing. She lied under oath saying, no, he had never sexually abused her. She had never smoked pot with him.

      And two days later I found her letter, saved online in an old email box.

      I am absolutely shattered. They steal children.

      And like Alcec and others, I’m taking my parenting class and my anger management class. I finally freaked out myself in Dec. And then? He stole my children, exploiting the one he had so successfully indoctrinated, even though she was onto him years ago.

      Stockholm Syndrome.

      As for genders of people who do this? It’s both. My mother waged a campaign against my father, but it did backfire on her, eventually. My father was such a good man, he would never utter a bad word about her, while raged on. Narcissists are capable of anything. They are wicked.

      • Kerry says:

        Kelly, I feel your pain so bad!!!!! Im so distraught. The court system is a bunch of crap. Not at all to help the children. It is who has the money and the power. It is disgusting! My ex-who is a drug addict was fired as a middle school principle, he beat crap out of me (6 surgeries on my collarbone) just took off with my 8 yr. old little girl to Juneau, Alaska! I live in Lincoln, NE. She is scared to death of him. he wont let me talk to her & the few times i have-she cries and wants to come home. she has 2 sisters (diff father) and i am at my wits end. i cant sleep, eat, Im literally sick. I cant take this. the dr. i was working for retired in June so now im unemployed. do not have the money to fight him plus now hes all the way around the world. Nobody will help me!!!! I do not have money for an attorney and he knows that. This is killin all of us! any advice from anyone??? im dying here people. she has been gone for 5 weeks now!!!!

  9. ali says:

    I agree with the statement.. “good parents don’t alienate someone thy love against someone that child loves”….

    it happens BOTH ways… I am a woman, a pediatrician, and I no longer see two of my children because of alienation. The courts were HORRIBLE. A court appointed psychiatrist did a “two hour” evaluation and in his comments criticized my hair, the color and style. How is that for objective standards….

    A kid can drop out of school and we would never allow it,,, but a child can drop out of a kids life and the other parent can support it and we allow it?

    Remember, if you get divorced in this country, you surrender ALL rights to your children. The state does not have to abide by ANY standards and can order your children removed and you without hearing or evaluation.

  10. Annie says:

    Thank you, Mr. Baldwin, for having the courage to bring this very difficult issue out into the open and for giving me a NAME (alienation) for it. I am entangled in such a situation (I’m the mother & divorced from a narcissistic psycho) in which my partner and I are constantly under siege. This gives me a great deal of direction in finding help with keeping my kids involved and engaged with BOTH of their parents, to which they have every right! Annie Shaw

  11. Sam says:

    Divorce is a merely a well-paying business that is run by females for females with help from a few black robed guys who have no clue what they are doing. The powers that be, who run this scheme, don’t want anything changed – it will affect too many jobs for divorced women. The black robed guys appear to arbitrarily pick out the template of the day to sign – irrespective of the facts. All the templates are biased in favor of the women. Many foreign women are using marriage as a convenience to enter the country. In these cases, a baby is simply a tool to prevent deportation. It is time to wake up – the eroding family structure is far more serious than the mortgage crises and the financial crisis together. Unless someone can stop women from using children as tools, we are heading to a deep ravine with our eyes tightly shut. Only someone like Alec Baldwin can lead this effort – we need a lot of attention on the problem and there is no way to get focus for the serious problems that underly the symptoms using information such as the ones suggested by Amy Baker, Ph.D.

  12. ANONYMOUS says:

    My husband has been in an ongoing custody battle with his ex-wife. I have endured this long battle with him. After long drawn out evaluations of all parties involved, (including myself) The ex-wife has a new tactic to keep his daughter from him. I will not go into details as this may give some other black-hearted woman some crazy ideas. But the attacks have now been re-directed at me. This is not easy as we are still newlyweds. I want to do something to help change these laws. No due process, no trial. Yes this happend to me. I have no respect for these judges. They do not judge… they rule in a way that keeps them from being liable. Am I in America??? I feel like a fugitive in my own home. That’s it, I am going to law school….And I will fight for Equal Rights for Fathers… Sincerely, A Woman

  13. Mr. Pines says:

    To all interested persons,

    “PAS”, as it has been commonly known, is a devastating situation. As each of you search for your solutions to your personal situations, please remember to “always keep the high road”. “GOOD PERSONS” will always eventually sleep deeply knowing that they did everything possible. 5 years of research and $25,000 of legal efforts have been in vain, for me.

    I seek help in identifying a Foundation/not-for-profit organization that can be a central advocate for the issue. Responses welcome. mrpines@hotmail.com

  14. Jim says:

    Hello Everyone,

    These stories are nothing short of scary. I read through these and other sources to try and gain an understanding as to why this is happening. My purpose is simple . . . my ex-wife continues to do the same thing 3 years after the marriage has ended.

    Now my children are routinely subject to unilateral parenting decisions and a barrage of attacks on me by her mother. My ex-wife’s cousin even enters the fray to tell totally fabricated stories to the children. I have been accused of being mentally insane to having committed attempted murder . . . all of which was thrown out by the court. But her alienation continues unfettered. She will not allow her own mother (the children’s grandmother) to see our kids becuase her mother chastized her learning that it was her affair that led her to pursue divorce.

    From my perspective I have learned that you cannot beat “mean”:

    1. Justice can be bought. Based upon what I have read in this blog as well as my own experiences, if a man has the money and the mean-spirited nature he can effectively tie things up so much that the mother who runs out of money first loses. Note in Florida that legal aide WOULD NOT provide me any legal services on custody or alimony-related issues despite having lost my job and having $0 assets (She is sitting on over $300K in cash from the marriage . . . “community property state” definition has so many loopholes that the concept is a misnomer).

    2. Generally, justice is not blind. My ex-wife walked into court EVERY time the default victor. Unless you have the money and the mean-spirited nature you WILL get bare minimum from the court if you are a man.

    3. Perjury has no teeth : My ex-wife has made so many lies under oath in court, yet with complete impunity. I was later that while the evidence showed her story did not hold water and her testimony counterintuitive to the facts, I had to prove that I never attempted to do what she claimed. If you know an effective, substantiated way to prove what never happened did indeed never happen, you are smarter than I am. As my lawyer said, “She was coached well on how to use the system . . . if you can’t prove she is telling an outright lie, she is not committing perjury.”

    4. Many lawyers do not seek the truth, they seek a victory at all financial, emotional, and fair-play costs. I am obviously very naive because I presumed that lawyers were noble individuals attempting to find the truth. . . nothing could be farther from the truth. My ex-wife’s lawyer should be disbarred for her behavior. She fully (and I have documented for the courts her misinformed statements) distorts the truth in order to get a judgement consistent with her client’s wishes, not with what is in the best interest of the children.

    5. Related to number 4, the only lawyer that can defeat a crooked lawyer is another crooked lawyer. My first lawyer is an honest, respectful man who sought what was in the best interest of the kids AND my ex-wife based upon loads of child research. WRONG! My next lawyer will be more crooked, nasty and conniving than my ex-wife’s current lawyer. My next lawyer will look at some of the opposing lawyer’s ineffective unethical practices as “rookie mistakes” and take her to school on the practice. I know this sounds so incredibly cynical, but I honestly believe that my ex-wife making plans for the children on the weekends I ma to have them is inappropriate. Oh, I do have recourse . . . after she has gotten them all excited for the event, I could show up to her house with a police officer and my custody papers to pick up the kids, then deny them what thier mother has promised them. She practices manipulation to the highest degree.

    I wish all of you that are in pain all the best in successfully resolving the siutation. God bless you all!

  15. Michael Eads says:

    I am seeing a lot of: “I am a victim of” in here. You people are victim of NOTHING. You married that evil, vindictive liar and until you accept your part of the failed marriage you will NEVER achieve closure. And ladies please don’t use that tired old “he changed” crap. You knew he had issues and you still married him. GET OVER IT!

    • Scott says:

      Hey there Mr Michael Eads:

      I have read the fore mentioned post on here and I do not see where any of these so called “victims” even stated why they were divorced. Obviously, you have not gone through anything that deals with this matter. It is a real issue and I am a VICTIM. Who in the hell are you to say otherwise.

    • Private says:

      Michael..Victim of nothing?

      Where does it say if you sleep with a woman you should live in a hell of not seeing your own child?

      The restraining orders ,and judges, police and obstacles are barriars for men. Thank Hilliary Clinton and all the men who helped put all the female judges in charge of these cases because women are so damn compassionate.

      You walk in a man and the case is decided the USA is the absolute worst country. I want to live in China, Japan, Korea, UK, anywhere I have the right to see my child and there is no b.s. false criminal charges used as leverage. In those countries they would tell the bitch if she was lying get the F out of here! The man wants to see his child.

      No its America, Americas courts, and no polititician will take a stand because no man knows or understands this problem until he has personally been through it.

      I Hate America – I would leave but there is likely a court order preventing that too!!!!

  16. survivor says:

    I am an adult survivor of PAS. my mother not only abducted me from my father, but for years, convinced me that he did not love me anymore.
    It was only after I was married and had children of my own did I re-connect with my father and develop an adult relationship with him.
    It is sad that so many angry adults are doing this to innocent children. Even today, it’s difficult for me to buy greeting cards for my dad on his birthday or father’s day. So many of them are about what dad’s do to protect and raise their daughters. I went without my dad for almost 10 years of my life because of others’ decicions and brain washing. I have suffered a lot of guilt about the way I cut him off during my teen years. I have asked for forgiveness and have mended those fences. Although, this remains a deep scar in my life and my father’s life, God’s love and love for each other can heal those wounds.

    • Rondah says:

      I too have been in pain for three years plus…I have not been able to see my sweet daughter who was my little dear. Her father alienated her from me and when our divorce was final I came out with a history of everything, mental illness, emotionally and physically harming my children and drug abuse. There was never any proof of any of these things, I was the primary care giver to our children for fourteen years, working at the schools, girlscouts youth group etc…This was my first time in court. My EX on the ohter hand was arrested for DV after four calls to our home and having over a hundred cases in the court system. I lost my children and ended up in visitation and then he managed to manipulate my daughter into testifying that I inflicted the bruises on myself the night he was arrested. She told the judge that I told her what to write in the police report. Everyone knows that witnesses are divided for this…then his attorney threw out the police reports. I ended up in DV, drug education and therapy while trying to pay for visits to see my children. My oldest didn’t want to see me at all any longer. I could not believe it. It is PURE EVIL to do this to children. The court is letting abusers get away with abusing their own children. The children are now victims of these mentally ill parents. My career as a teacher was ruined, my financial anything was gone as I now pay him child support. He is a millionaire and hides his money. Does not pay taxes and takes everything I have. I eat at the local church and scramble to stay alive. I miss my children so much it is hard to go on sometimes. I pray and I wake everynight putting angels around my children. How can someone be so absolutely EVIL?

      • Anna says:

        Ronah, I feel your pain, I really do. I’ve been wrecked too. He took everything from me, including my career, so now that he’s taken my children, I not only don’t have money for an attorney, I will not be able to pay my own bills.

        This one also cheats on his taxes. Lives in a high-income tax state, claims residency in a different state (where I lived with the kids), actually states on an income statement for something that he needs, yes needs, $1800 for groceries every month. In the meantime? I just don’t eat. Not only can I not really afford it, I’ve been so traumatized by the whole legal mess, I don’t have much of an appetite.

        I’ve also been forced into some of the things you’ve mentioned. The parenting class was good, but the person who NEEDED to learn these things is off living the life of the spoiled little rich kid, laughing it up every day, with his own sick family and my children.

        It is pure evil, but unfortunately, the court system is not fair, and it’s not based in reality at all. Lawyers have all kinds of games they play, and without being one and having lots of money to throw at one, you can’t play their game. I have so much evidence that shows what this man is like when he thinks no one isl ooking, but it’s not admissable because of this or that. The latest is that some certain email address won’t be “authenticated” because he won’t admit that it was ever his. Well? Who ELSE would have been using that address, four years ago, using my name, my children’s names, and so on, accusing me of all kinds of things.

        I concede. I’ve lost my children. Now? I’d like to be left alone, maybe helped by teh system that helped him destroy me, so that I don’t wind up at the homeless shelter, but there isn’t even that help available to me. I have no dependents.

        He took it all. And the legal system is allowing him to do it, the lawyers and judges playing ping pong.

        PURE EVIL sums it up. And think of what kind of people my children are going to grow up to be. My son ?Probably an attorney who lines his pockets with the money of people like me, or worse, like his father, getting wealthy off a corrupt, illogical system that is set up almost like a casino: the house always wins.

        I could vomit, I’m so sickened.

  17. Larry Rock says:

    I understand the pain and fustration and emptiness
    it is to loose children because of the unthinkable ,monsterous and hateful efforts of my x-wife. I battled on for 7 years through the courts depleting my emotions and finances
    my daughters are now 20 and 23 and still will not comminucate with me at all

  18. Gina says:

    I can relate to Alec’s situation. I have been in a PAS situation for almost 5 years. Both of my children lived with my new husband and me. The court system in Ohio has been of no help. All that has happened is my bank account has been emptied into the hands of attorneys and my children are now separated – I have 1 and my ex has 1. My ex’s wife hates me and is very jealous. We had been divorced for 6 years and both of us were remarried when this started. There are a lot of other details involved but the bottom line is NO ONE in the court system understands PAS. Get a clue!! It does exist and we have been living it for almost five years. It affects every area of your life in addition to your children, extended family and friends. Nothing is ever the same again. People ask me what I did to lose custody of my daughter. There are no charges against me nor have I done anything that would warrant my daughter being turned against me by her father and his wife. Guardian ad litem for my younger daughter was a total waste of time. He was biased from the beginning and never even visited my home to see where my daughter lived nor observe any interaction between us. He should have been disbarred however, he retired before I had all paperwork filled out to file a complaint. You never fully understand this until you or someone close to you as been thru this. Another good read on this subject is a book by Dr. Richard Warshack called Divorce Poison. Recommend these books to anyone you know that is contemplating a divorce.

  19. NeverAgain says:

    Hasn’t it occured to anyone that the divorce industry is a for profit business. They choose women as their primary customers and men as a bank account to be emptied. What’s fair and good has nothing to do with anything.

    It works like this:
    1. Man disagrees with wife over something.
    2. Wife threats divorce unless she gets her way knowing the legal system will “help her.”
    3. Man is scared and tries to compromise for fear of the divorce threat.
    4. Compromise is not good enough, wife divorces man, takes his assets, money and children using court system.
    5. Man fights back by taking woman to court for right to see his children (which is what the legal system knows will happen with unfair judgement decisions in order to get more of man’s hard earned money).
    6. If man spends enough money… he may get something in return, or he may not.
    7. Steps 4-6 repeat many times making more of man’s money the court system’s money.

    The Game is Rigged! The legal system serves themselves, not families, people or children. The legal system sets up an unfair game in order to perpetuate a fight in order to generate revenue for themselves. If you think as a man it’s courageous to fight for your rights, children, etc., in a rigged game designed like a slot machine to take your money, you’re being naive. Gentlemen the game is rigged on purpose to evoke your strongest emotions and subsequently compel you to make emotional decisions disregarding the associated financial costs. We all know “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”… so does the family law system and their jobs, BMWs, and high lifestyle bank on it. If you walk up to the slot machine (family law system) and put your money in expecting a jackpot, forget it… the machine is fixed.

    • Kelly says:

      I am a woman, and it has happened to me. This man even abused a daughter of mine from a brief marriage when I was younger. She wrote him a nine-page letter that she showed me a few years ago. In it, she writes: YOU STOLE MY MOTHER FROM ME.

      And yet? She testified for him in court on Friday. No, he never sexually abused her. No. He never smoked pot with her when she was in high school. No, he’s a great guy.

      He has an attorney, because his family is a wealthy, prominent Long Island POSSEE.

      Me? My son, with whom I had a very warm and loving relationship, attends a school that costs $43K a year, and I have not had health insurance in fifteen years.

      The man has been convicted of assault on me. Yet? He prevails.

      It is usually money that decides these things.

      In a case like Alec Baldwin? It’s pure wickedness. I guess they both have money, but she was able to provoke him by years of abuse. I understand that anger so well. I finally snapped in Dec, when my ex had been here, stirring up the waters, and my older daughter, that Stokckholm Sydrome Poster Girl once again got violent with me.

      It’s sick. The courts are corrupt. THe whole system is corrrupt. If I had the money to fight him with an attorney I WOULD win this. But he’s got the money, and he’s got “the family,” and he’s got Stockholm Sydronme working for him.

      If anyone would like to see all that I have documented on this, and find out who this prominent Long Island family is, please email me. I won’t put their name in public. God knows, with the controlling family member being an attorney, I will be sued for slannder. BUt I will tell anyone my story and show you documentation if you email me privately.

      STOP THIS INSANITY! STOP IT!

  20. Shari says:

    PAS is also a way to cover the ex-spouces lies they have told people and family so they look like the nice person and something was wrong with the other person. I have expierenced things that were cruel to cover his ass at the cost of what is in my child’s best interest.At times if you didn’t know what he was up too I did look crazy. It was all a part of his game. He is pretty desperate to cover his butt socially so it will con’t for a long time. I know my child sees all this and knows but can’t do much. Honestly I have moved on with my life. I have put my faith in God and his will. Legal system is a joke. FOC liked my husband because they both play golf.When I did have custody my husband didn’t pay support and it was hard to provide for my child. He told me his attorney told him to do it. Fortunitly his attorney died a few years back-a slow painful death-cancer. I believe what comes around goes arond. Just have to be patient. I have a new life now and good marriage. The only way I was going to have that was give the situation to God and move on. My child knows what is up. He misses me really bad. He acts out in school. I work with him on the phone when I can. My 47 year old enjoied the suffering I was doing. I was giving the devil what he wanted. Now I do not. I believe it will all work out someday and I have to have my act together then for him. Brooding too long was making me a bad parent. Let go and let god. It is hard but as they say “Don’t let the Basterd win” and keep you miserable. After a while they will get tired of it all and you will get what you want. Make sure sure you are ready when it happens. Get busy people. If it never happens you will be together in heaven-make sure you get there.

  21. Shari says:

    Alex -your wife is messing with you though your child and it is working. Did not she have mental issues before? It will all work out. You forget you are dealing with a crazy woman. She knows where to push your buttons and make you look bad. She will use the child probably forever. Change the things you can and accept the things you can not. It may be in your best interenst to take a break from it all. Everything comes out in the wash.

  22. Kell says:

    Shari–No, it does not all come out in the wash. Maybe you should read through the thread to get familiar with some of these outcomes.

    My biggest complaint, aside from the narcissist at the center doing the alienating, is with the legal system itself. Can someone–anyone–explain to me why ATTORNEYS are the ones making these decisions? That’s what judges are, just glorified attorneys (and really, I say glorified and mean it literally–what egos). Just what on god’d green earth makes a god damned attorney qualified to make such a decision? Let them decide the fate of accused criminals, tax frauds, traffic violations, but for heaven’s sake, can we get LAWYERS out of the decisions about the welfare of children? Child abuse is one area a judge might be qualified, but custody? Thisviscsuch a racket, such a game.

    I lied. My other big complaint is wuth people who tell you to just forget it and go on, ’cause it will all come out in the wash and/ or you will have visitation rights in heaven.

    Please.

  23. Shari says:

    I will always put my faith in God. The sin is putting faith in mankind. I married unwisely-no one to blame but myself. Getting a new life has kept me going and if it works out later I will be prepared for it. Read the bible. It helped me alot and find a 12-step-program.

  24. Shari says:

    Let go and let god. THE DEVIL LOVES THE FACT YOU R SUFFERING.

  25. Kell says:

    You are posting in the wrong place, if that is your reply. Obviously, the people reading and posting here are here primarily to read up on the topic of parental alienation.

    Your forceful comments about religion are a tremendous turn off and quite offensive. Get informed. Even the psychologist who first brought this to the public’s attention said that taking a passive stance (ie, waiting for a heavenly reuionion as opposed to doing all that one can for these children) was detrimental–to the child.

    Certainly you agree that once we bring them into this world, we have a mandate to care for them in every way we can. Letting God handle it and decaring triumph for your Lucifer is just not responsible parenting.

    Please–I cannot be the only person who is offended by yourvremarjs. This board is about parental alienation; it is not a place for you to broadcast yir religious views. GOD KNOWS there are plenty of online boards where your views will be welcome. Please find one.

  26. Greg says:

    I hope that this might find its way to Mr. Baldwin. I am Canadian, and though our laws maybe somewhat different, PAS is PAS. And our struggles as a parent and especially as a father are the same, frighteningly so.

    As I read the book, I found myself nodding my head with acceptance, finding myself reading what seemly mirrors what I’ve been going through for the past 3.5 years, with no real end insight.

    I wanted to pass on one fathers fight and quest, by foot across our great and vast country of Canada. IT’s called; For the Sake of the Children Marathon of Hope.

    This is in support for a Private Members Bill called C-422, Dave Nash states: “Bill C-422 would reform the Divorce Act, and help put Children’s best interests forward by making Equal Shared Parenting the normative determination by courts dealing with situations of divorce involving children.

    Dave goes on to say “I am running and walking across Canada to make YOU, the Canadian Citizen aware that our Canadian Government, both Federally & Provincially, as well as our Nation’s so-called “Family” Justice System, is FAILING Canadian Children and their Families miserably. The current system that we have in place, and have had in place since 1985, is bankrupting Canadian Families, emotionally, as well as financially, and it needs to be stopped. The system is also unnecessarily wasting billions of YOUR hard earned Tax Dollars. Some estimates have been given as high as 10 to 12 Billion Dollars annually.”

    If anyone knowing how to reach MR Baldwin, please let him know of this cause as I believe that even though its a Canadian effort, if passed I believe that it will have an eventual effect for fathers or alienated parents in the US.

  27. click here says:

    click here…

    [...]Alec Baldwin writes book on divorce and parental alienation « Anatomy of a Divorce[...]…

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