Comments on: The COPE Class http://anatdiv.wordpress.com/2008/04/28/the-cope-class/ One man's journey through the divorce industry Thu, 28 Aug 2008 10:18:42 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=MU hourly 1 By: jp http://anatdiv.wordpress.com/2008/04/28/the-cope-class/#comment-215 jp Mon, 23 Jun 2008 14:17:57 +0000 http://anatdiv.wordpress.com/?p=30#comment-215 My brother is involved in a divorce from a woman we suspect has BPD or is a sociopath. They were court-ordered into a COPE class in Ohio without the court considering my brother's claims that his wife is incapable of anything but hatred toward him and is incapable of looking at him or speaking to him. They were required to attend counseling which the wife refused to attend after two sessions because the counselor was on to her, they were required to go to COPE. She later convinced the guardian ad litem that they just couldn't communicate, so she ended up as custodial parent, with the father getting the child almost 1/2 of the time. Now the child, who is four, says he's been home alone at his mother's on at least two occassions. The second time his mother brought a toy home so he wouldn't tell his Daddy. The child is also having nightmares about his father being shot and killed. I could go on and on about the mother's neglect, emotional abuse, violent rages, parental alientation tatics, but you've got the idea. These programs may be of use to people who have marriages that fail for the usual reasons, but are totally ineffective when mental illness and emotional abuse are the primary reasons for the split. Furthermore, they give a false impression to the court that the parties dealing with personality disorders now know how to deal with one another -- when nothing could be further from the truth. COPE teaches you how to deal with someone who is sane, not insane. My brother is involved in a divorce from a woman we suspect has BPD or is a sociopath. They were court-ordered into a COPE class in Ohio without the court considering my brother’s claims that his wife is incapable of anything but hatred toward him and is incapable of looking at him or speaking to him. They were required to attend counseling which the wife refused to attend after two sessions because the counselor was on to her, they were required to go to COPE. She later convinced the guardian ad litem that they just couldn’t communicate, so she ended up as custodial parent, with the father getting the child almost 1/2 of the time. Now the child, who is four, says he’s been home alone at his mother’s on at least two occassions. The second time his mother brought a toy home so he wouldn’t tell his Daddy. The child is also having nightmares about his father being shot and killed. I could go on and on about the mother’s neglect, emotional abuse, violent rages, parental alientation tatics, but you’ve got the idea.

These programs may be of use to people who have marriages that fail for the usual reasons, but are totally ineffective when mental illness and emotional abuse are the primary reasons for the split. Furthermore, they give a false impression to the court that the parties dealing with personality disorders now know how to deal with one another — when nothing could be further from the truth. COPE teaches you how to deal with someone who is sane, not insane.

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